Shock
by darkangel-silvermoon
Summary: After Epi 100 Spoiler? , Reliving the trama is hard to do...the whole team's screwed up...comfort anyone? Will be slash later so be warned.
1. Shock

**Reid Morgan CM are not mine. Read, comment (POSS.& NEG.) Enjoy.**

Morgan fidgets with his front door until he lets himself in.

Clooney whines as Morgan stoops down, rubbing behind his ear and planting a kiss on his head. Clooney yips before tottering off to the backyard. Morgan half smiles as he closes the door.

"Outside it is then."

Morgan throws his bag near the door, shedding jacket end shoes like second skins.

He patters to the kitchen, go to the faucet for a glass of water…think that maybe he needs something stronger to knock the memories loose.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to stop reliving the nightmare the team was forced to dig up again. Aren't their memories enough? Isn't the fact that over twenty lives will never be the same, thanks to one man?

Why does Strauss find the need to torment Hotch whenever she can? To ruin all their lives, to tear them all apart?

Morgan leans heavily against the sink, hot tears scalding their way down his face.

Morgan respected Haley, if anything and now Hotch?

No he doesn't want to think about any of this right now.

But he can't help but think that he would like to kill Strauss or anyone else that thinks that they could mess with his team, his family and get away with it.

"Little Jack, does that mean that Hotch will leave the team? I mean I wouldn't blame him, but…" Morgan thinks to himself.

He groans at the memories that flood back in…and is startled by a knock on the door. Morgan heads to the door. Looking through the peephole, he throws open the door.

"Pretty boy? Are you okay?" Moran's voice is tight, concern laced through his body.

He touches Reid slightly on the shoulder.

Reid can't meet Morgan's eyes as he leans on his cane.

"I'm…uh sorry if I disturbed you. I uh…" his voice cracks as he finally looks up.

"I didn't…I didn't know where else to go and I thought maybe…" Reid whispers, red-rimmed eyes spill over.

"Reid come in, come in, God, are you okay?" Morgan tugs him by the arm, leading him inside.

Reid shakes his head as he limps into the door.

Morgan pushes it firmly shut behind him, locking it, and turns to see Reid tumble.

Morgan catches him before he falls, hugging Reid against his chest as Reid lets out a high pitch cry, body jerking painfully against Morgan's.

Morgan runs his fingers through his hair.

"I'm- so- sorry Derek." Reid gasps out before crying even harder.

Morgan's heart leaps to his throat as his body tightens.

This has thoroughly fucked them all up.

Morgan strokes Reid's hair, murmuring comforting sounds into his hair.

"Shh…" Morgan hums, rocking them gently.

After a while, Reid finally stills, eyes closed as he laid his head on Morgan's chest.

"Don't wanna go home." Reid mumbles thickly.

"You don't have to kid. You can stay here as long as you need." Morgan says.

"Come on, let's go get some rest." Morgan rises, lifting Reid up, carrying him to his room.

He places him on the edge of the bed, pulling off Reid's shoes and tie.

Reid looks down and starts working on his shirt. Morgan gently pushes Reid's hands away, working on the buttons loose with deft fingers.

Morgan takes in a sharp breath at the shock of pale white skin. He wills his mind not to go to places he knows will hurt even more than usual when Reid's this close, when Reid leaves.

Morgan pushes Reid under the covers.

"Sleep Kid." He brushes finger tips over Reid's jaw.

Reid grips Morgan's wrist.

"No please, don't leave…I can't—I don't want to be alone. Skin." Reid squeezes his eyes shut, trying to avoid Morgan's gaze.

Morgan sighs, pulling off his own shirt.

"Alright," Morgan whispers crawling into bed.

Reid immediately buries himself into Morgan's side, Morgan makes a noise at the feeling of skin against skin, Reid's hair tickling his shoulder.

Morgan slides both arms around Reid, pulling him closer. Morgan knows he'll pay for this later, but for now, he can only focus on Reid's breath slowing and heartbeat that thuds against his in time.

Morgan presses a kiss to the top of Reid's head.

"I wish you knew Reid how much I love you." Morgan murmurs.

Reid's eyes flutter closed.


	2. breathe

I own not Reid, Morgan nor cm…how many times…

How do you deal with a part of yourself that you've been running from for over fifteen years? That felt so wrong and made you feel so dirty and full of shame. You've been in full denial (never seen you with the same girl twice) as Reid put it.

It's all a show… trying to find yourself or loose it. You don't know which. But it's only gotten worse since you met Reid.

It's hard having to pretend and cover up any feeling you have for him. You have to remember the boundaries you set for yourself with touching, teasing, flirting…because you know that every time you go too far, it's gonna take you days to fully heal, knowing that you want something you know you can't have… yet you still don't learn.

On your part, you'd protested it all the way, wrestling with yourself with the impracticality of these emotions, you've been able to get rid of them before…what's so different about Spencer Reid?

Hr's so much different than anyone, there's no one to compare him to, you reason.

The fact that he's more than a pretty boy, he's gorgeous, but still can handle his own. That he's smart of course, but still tries to connect with people like you. Even though he knows that there's danger all around him, he still rushes forward, always killing a part of you until you know he's safe. Maybe that's the appeal of touching him, reassuring yourself that he's still here with you, whole, safe.

You don't want to exploit him, not like Buford did to you. You…love Reid.

There was never a big bang of realization, rather a feeling that you could never live without him. A feeling that ebbed and flowed until it crashed over you, broke you down. And you've never recovered from that.

Instead you play player, smooth womanizer, trying to cover it up, but you know it's impossible to hide from this…thing, but you try anyway, tearing yourself to pieces in the process.

Like now, you look down at the sleeping form next to you.

You love the fact that he feels comfortable enough to come to you like this. That he can find comfort sleeping in your arms, and doesn't question it.

Oh god, you know this is gonna hurt so much when he leaves.

Reid shifts, moaning softly. He pushes closer to you and you receive him, touching his silky hair.

Somewhere in this warmth, you forgot to breathe.


	3. Wide Awake

**Reid Morgan Sexy Criminal minds are not mine. I can dream? Not.**

**I'd like to think that 100 has made them more emotional?**

Reid's mind wakes up before his body does. Always.

The memories of yesterday flood in.

Strauss' interview, Haley…Hotch. Please Hotch don't leave, we need you…I need you. Little Jack. Please let him be okay. Home… Can't deal with this. So tempted. I'm clean, I'm clean. But I want to forget. I want to go under for a little bit. Scrubbed clean. NO! Who can I…Morgan. Get to Morgan. Pretty boy are you okay? I'm um I'm sorry if I disturbed you I uh I-I didn't know where else to go and I thought maybe…Get away from this. Get away. I'm sorry so sorry Derek! Touch warmth. Morgan smells like…comfort. Float, warmth... Morgan smells like comfort. Lift, tight, bed. Sleep Kid. Stay. I can't sleep alone. Skin. Please. Drifting. I wish you knew Reid how much I love you.

Reid minds kicks, feeling Morgan against him, arm firmly around his side. Reid breathes in deep smelling Morgan's warm skin, and goes instantly, achingly hard. Reid's body goes hot.

Not now, please not now.

He shifts, trying to put space between himself and Morgan, but Morgan pulls him closer. Not the smartest move on Reid's part.

Morgan mumbles, pressing into Reid. Reid bites his lip, eyes still closed as Morgan's body stiffens.

Morgan jerks away, tumbling out of bed.

"Morgan?" Reid's voice is filled with embarrassment as he looks over the edge of the bed.

Morgan's sprawled on the floor groaning. He tries to untangle himself from the sheets.

"I'm so…" Reid's voice catches as he struggles for breath.

Morgan grunts as he rights himself.

"That's one way to wake up." He shakes his head, laughing.

Reid moans, curling into himself.

"Reid, I was joking. Come on, that's natural. I've woken up…sti- never mind, not helping. Just- how about coffee and breakfast. Pancakes, eggs and bacon? I'll go get your cane." Morgan rambles, trying to make some eye contact with Reid.

Reid crawls out of bed and hobbles into the bathroom as soon as Morgan leaves the room.

He sits on the toilet seat, remembering the feel of Moran's skin on his and comes hard.

A strangled cry escaped his lips, as shame and embarrassment courses through him.

He slumps on the seat, spent. His body feebly jerks as he cries.

Reid looses his self in his thoughts for a moment before reaching over, turning on the shower.

He strips off his clothes and gets in, bracing himself against the wall for support.

He stands under the warm spray. He will not use this incident to torture himself, he tells him self.

Even Morgan said it was natural. Normal?

But Reid… he can't help but think the why he reacted so strongly.

He enjoyed feeling Morgan's warmth, arm slipped protectively around him. He liked that Morgan didn't mind him coming over in the middle of the night and would be there to comfort him when he needed it.

Reid lets the water wash the crud off his body as his thoughts turn for the worse.

Why would Morgan be interested in a pale, skinny **Kid** like him? What has He to offer Morgan?

And Morgan's not gay. He chases anything in a skirt(Well, they chase him). He's everything a guy would want to emulate. Successful, good looking, smooth with the ladies…

Reid chokes on a sob. He has no chance.

He turns off the water, shaking himself off. As he steps out he sees his cane hanging on the door handle, and a towel folded on the sink. He dries himself off and limps out of the bathroom.

The bed is made and a pile of clothes sit folded on the edge of the bed.

Reid grimaces as he put the sweats on…they swallow him whole.

He makes his way to the kitchen.

Clooney's at the door eating his food, while Morgan stands at the stove finishing the bacon.

Reid freezes as he sees Garcia.

"Awe, he looks so cute!" Garcia gushes as Reid's face burst into flames.

"Babe, lay off him…" Morgan warns, waving a greasy spatula her way.

Reid doesn't think his face can get any redder.

"So, you two… slept together last night? Spill who topped." Garcia teases.

Reid sputters, Morgan Chokes.

Morgan's face squishes into a pained look.

"Garcia, come on…stop playing please. We've all had a rough couple of days. We just want to relax, that' why you're here isn't it? Movie Day?" Morgan scolds lightly.

She nods, Reid throwing Morgan a grateful look.

"So kid, what do you say to blueberry pancakes?" Morgan asks. Reid just nods.

"Thank you Morgan, for everything…." Reid's voice is a whisper as he looks away.

"Ah, no problem… that's what I'm here for." he says over his shoulder as he pulls out plates.

He locks eyes with Reid, searching for something.

Reid breaks away first.

"Let me help with those." He says taking the plates from Morgan, taking them to the dining room, carefully.

Garcia stares between them both.

"Oh my lord… there's something…" Garcia whispers, Morgan avoids her stare.

"You like him! You li-" she hisses as Morgan lunges, clamping his hand over her mouth. She laughs.

"Sweet stuff, cool it!" He barks as he backs away, grabbing a spatula to dish the food onto serving plates.

He gets the food on the plates, and hands the pancakes to Garcia.

"Go!" He gestures with the other two plates in his hands.

"AW! you have to do something about this. Don't be a wimp, you've already shared one steamy hot romp-"

"One more word and you're out of here." Morgan scowls seriously this time.

"What's taking you guys?" Reid asks as he pokes his head round the corner.

"Coming, boy genius." Garcia chirps.

Reid touches Morgan on the arm.

"I'm really sorry about this morning… I-uh didn't mean to.. I didn't intend"-

"Pretty boy, it was nothing, 'kay?" No worries. Morning wood, everyone gets it." Morgan smirks and shrugs before going to set the table.

Reid blows out the air that he was holding.


	4. Dig

**I don't like that I can never own CM or characters…I need them in my collection! Epic Fail!**

Morgan smiles at his friends.

"You two can get along long enough for me to take a shower?" Morgan smirks.

"Me join, my King of Stud." Garcia purrs.

"No, I need you to keep an eye on Pretty boy. Make sure he and Clooney don't kill each other."

"It's not me, Clooney has the problem." Reid says in all seriousness.

"Will do. I shall have my wicked way with you." She smiles sweetly at Reid. Reid scoots away from her.

"Garcia, please behave?" Morgan quirks a brow.

"Will do captain!" She salutes Morgan and he gets up, kissing her on the forehead.

"Pick a couple of movies?" Morgan nods.

"Right on!" Garcia hops up.

"Hold it! Reid. I think that you'd have a better…choice. He's a third party." Moran laughs as Garcia sticks out her tongue. Morgan reaches over and ruffles Reid's hair. Reid blushes as Morgan walks away.

"Hmmm… Reid our second stud muffin."

"Garcia?" Reid says nervously as he goes to Morgan's DVD collection.

"I've been watching…Something's going on." She says defiantly.

Reid shrugs, tucking his hair away from his face.

"I don't"-

"Don't try to deny it **Pretty Boy.** You… like…DEREK MORGAN!" She says in a singsong voice.

"Shh...Garcia. "Reid hisses. "You have no clue what you're talking about. "He nearly falls over in panic.

He grabs a case and stands up, folding his arms in front of him in the classic "you are really pissing me off and I'd rather not tell you what I'm really thinking right now, and I 'm pretty sure you don't know what I'd like to do with you right now" look.

"You like him. Why don't you tell him?" She pushes.

"Well if I did like him, which I don't." He snaps. "There's nothing I can do about it. First off, he's on my team. There are rules Garcia"-

"That we break all the time…" Garcia says smugly.

"Secondly, Morgan's defiantly not gay. He's just…not"-

"How do you know that?" She quips.

"Wha- do you hear how he talks about homosexual males? Did you not he his interrogation in Florida? Them being less then Men? How he deals with women?"

"He was trying to get under the guy's skin in Florida, and Morgan's just covering. You know about Buford." She whispers.

"Well…thirdly, Morgan wouldn't want me…" his voice catches. "Who would want a know it all, skinny white kid, who has nothing to offer anyone, except…" Reid frowns, drifting off, staring past Garcia's shoulder.

"Sweetie, self deprecation is not flattering for you. Don't you know you have a hold on Derek? HE cares for you SO much. You two keep eachother together so well, and so many people are jealous on how close you two are. He looks out for you"-

"Like a brother." Reid says.

"Whenever you get hurt or kidnapped, or whatever foolish thing you do…he goes ballistic. Like, like…Hankel." Garcia whispers. "We couldn't get him to calm down. It effected us all, but Morgan, God, you should have seen him. And when you went on the train without your vest on the train with El…or that time you got taken by the religious cult…get the picture. He needs you, and you know you need him. Please tell him. For me? For you?" Garcia goes over to Reid to hug him, he shifts into her, resting his head on her shoulder.

He looks up to see a flash.

"Great picture, sorry. You two got somethin' goin' on I don't know about?" Morgan laughs, putting the camera down.

Reid stutters, and Garcia smiles wickedly.

Morgan's shirt clings to him, water spots defining the muscle underneath.

""Nothing you can't join in, you naughty boy." She purrs.

Morgan and Reid lock eyes for a second, before gazes slide away.

"Okay." Morgan claps, "Rules of the Movie day, Reid, are that the person picks a movie, and can not change the choice, no matter how…stupid, ect. ect. Second"-

"Um, my heart, you know that I love you right?" Garcia looks at Morgan.

Morgan frowns, waiting.

"I'm gonna have to call a rain cheque, Kevin's going to call in three… two…one." Garcia's phone goes off. She holds up finger as she answers her phone.

""Uh huh…yes. No… He's giving me the stink eye right now. I'm letting you take it up with him…well, you shouldn't have called. I- wait until I get my hands on you, you're getting the cuffs. Dig them out!" She snaps her phone shut.

Morgan stares, and Reid blushes deeply.

"What? Everyone loves bondage sex." Garcia shrugs.

"Baby girl…"

"Gotta go. You two watch movies… enjoy the company, relax? For me?" They throw her an unsure look. She kisses them each on the cheek and leaves.

Morgan looks over at Reid.

"So I guess it's just you and me and the film kid." Morgan nods to the case in Reid's hand.

Reid looks at the case and goes red again.

"What's wrong?" Morgan's brows knit.

"How about we amend the rules just this once?" Reid's voice is a little high as he winces.

"Nope, rules are rules." Morgan shrugs.

"Don't blame me, Garcia distracted me."

"Come on, it can't be that bad, can it?" Morgan reaches for the case. "Titanic?" Morgan barks out a laugh.

"I didn't look when I was picking. Not- well, I've ever seen the film anyway." Reid whispers.

"Well I guess it could be worse." Morgan says popping in the DVD in.

"I'll get the snacks. Let the previews play." Morgan says.

"I can help." Reid says following Reid to the kitchen. Morgan sets to popping popcorn in the microwave, as Reid searches for candy and drinks.

"Ooohhh…gummies!' Reid shouts in delight, grabbing an unopened bag off one of the shelves in Morgan's pantry.

"There should be a huge bag right?" Morgan calls as the popcorn stops popping.

Reid comes back with the huge bag, a gummie worm dangling between his lips.

Morgan clears is throat trying to stop himself from staring.

"Get some drinks out of the fridge." Morgan gestures at the fridge and Reid digs out two sodas and follows Morgan to the couch.

"This will be one long assed movie." Morgan laughs.

Reid smiles nervously and sits down.

"Why are you so far away? I won't bite." Morgan pats the cushion next to him.

"Sorry kid." Morgan's eyes go wide in apology. Reid scowls playfully.

"You're gonna pay for that." Reid growls playfully.

I know. Morgan thinks to himself.


	5. Cheese Whiz

**For the last time …I own nothing. Spoiler for Titanic? But who hasn't seen it?**

**Don't die of a diabetic coma.**

"Are you crying?" Morgan looks over at Reid.

"So? Are you telling me men can't get emotional?" Reid pokes Morgan in the side.

"I'm not gonna answer that."

"The ending sucked, I mean she throws it overboard?" Reid throws his hands up.

Morgan doubles over laughing.

"Though the whole Jack/Rose thing was kinda cute. Star crossed lovers… but he dies. To save her…kind of like Dickens's Tale of Two Cities**. **Not one of my favorites though."

"You like Dickens!?!" Morgan stares at Reid as though he has two heads.

"Well, I like the idea of Dickens. The connected, intricate plot lines were good. The characters are a little flat, but well developed, and the dialogue and attention to detail was great for his time. He was a model for all writers to follow. He had a very influential effect on the Western Cannon of Literature." Reid smiles as Morgan rolled his eyes.

"Reid, you've got problems." Morgan says ruffling Reid's hair.

Reid shut his eyes tight.

"I've got to go. Thank you again for…" Reid looks around searching for words. "Everything." Reid gets up, grabbing for his cane.

"Are you sure? I mean I have a whole case of cheesy movies…you don't have to"-

"Morgan…did you mean what you said last night? Or was that just something I wasn't…I didn't hear right." Reid folds his arms, eyes cast downward.

"Where did this…What are you talking about?" Morgan looks at Reid puzzled.

"You…I heard you say that you…you love me." Reid's voice cracks as it becomes painfully quiet.

"Reid. I didn't think you heard me." Morgan smiles ruefully.

"Well…I did. Did you mean it?" All of Reid's hope lay hanging in the air, silence threatening to devour them. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, them shaking terribly.

"Kid, I"- Morgan breathes out slowly. Reid frowns.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm"- Reid turns around limping towards the door.

"Reid wait, please." Morgan catches him on the arm. Reid spills forward.

"I'm sorry kid." Morgan bends down and hugs Reid.

Reid furiously rubs the tears that slip down his face.

"Hotch may be leaving, now this? I thought that maybe… I didn't"- Reid rambles.

"Reid calm down." Morgan says soothingly. He runs the finger through Reid's hair.

'I did say that I love you. And I mean it…It's just. I never thought I could say it to your face. I love you Reid." Morgan says quietly.

"So." Reid sniffs, pushing his hair away from his face.

"So…pretty boy, I'm yours if you'll have me. We can be like Titanic without the dying and the thick layer of Cheese."

"I think we'd still have the cheese." Reid scoffs, breathing out a sigh of relief.

"Well maybe I like Cheese." Morgan wraps his arms around Reid's waist, pulling him close as he brushes his lips against Reid's. Reid slides his hands up Morgan's back, pressing into the kiss. They break away slowly.

"Oh what wonders you can work with Cheese Wiz." Morgan laughs devilishly.

"Come on," Morgan hoists Reid up. "We've got the rest of the day to watch movies, or-

Whatever." Wicked grins play on the edges of both of their lips.

"The latter sounds perfect." Reid tugs at Morgan, pulling him towards his bed room.

Cheese is awesome.


End file.
